Many of you already know that my future husband stars in a little show called The Office and in order to be supportive of his career, I watch every week. That and it is just freaking hilarious. Best writing, great actors . . . seriously, if you don't already watch it, then start. You won't be sorry.
I watch online though, not via television, and although NBC plays reruns online the next day of a million other shows, they never showed The Office; you had to buy it somewhere else in order to download it. So I watched it, um, in an alternate manner. Well, no longer do I have to exercise my ability to justify because NBC will be now be showing full episodes of The Office online for free! Woohoo! I am a little too excited about this, can you tell? I mean besides the fact that I just dedicated an entire post to it?
Ok, to celebrate this great news, I want to know your favorite Office quote and character! My favorite character is Jim Halpert (hello) and my favorite quotes are (I am cheating and picking two):
"Whenever I am about to do something I ask myself 'would an idiot do this?' and if the answer is yes then I do not do that thing." - Dwight Schrute
And when Kelly is defending why she wore a white dress to Phyllis' wedding:
"I look really good in white."
Ok, your turn - leave a comment with your favorite quote and character. The one that makes me laugh the hardest will win a $10 gift card to iTunes. Completely arbitrary and pointless - would we really do a contest any other way?
To help inspire you, here is great mashup video with some of the best editing I've seen. Kudos to whoever made this:
{contest guidelines}
*You have until Friday, September 28th at midnight PST to submit your entries.
*Limit three quotes per person.
*You'll have to check back here to find out if you won.
*Anybody can participate - clients, vendors, loyal blog stalkers, semi-occasional readers - the more the merrier!
*Any mean comments will be deleted. My blog, my rules.
Good luck and have fun!
Welcome to our 
Post a Comment 27 comments:
"It's incalciculable."
-Michael Scott
Still cracks me up every time!
Kelly: I can still remember when Princess Diana died. Oh my god, that was the saddest funeral ever! (softer) That, and my sister's.
:o)
It was SO seriously hard to pick only three quotes. I picked two from my favorite character, Dwight Schrute and one from my main man Michael Scott because I love the ridiculousness from the two of them.
1) "Yes, I have decided to shun Andy Bernard for the next three years... which I'm looking forward to. It's an Amish technique; it's like slapping someone with silence." - Dwight Schrute
2) "When I die, I wanna be frozen. And if they have to freeze me in pieces, so be it. I will wake up stronger than ever because I will have used that time to figure out exactly why I died and what moves I could have used to defend myself better now that I know what hold he had me in." - Dwight Schrute
3) "Abraham Lincoln once said that ‘If you're a racist, I will attack you with the North.' And those are the kinds of goals that I carry with me in the workplace." - Michael Scott
"Toby isn't really part of our family. And Toby's divorced, so he isn't really part of his own family either."
-Michael
Sorry. I'm pretty sure you mean MY future husband... even though I already have one. Just wanted to correct you.
k, my fiance was annoyed that i posted a kelly quote and not his favorite dwight quote so i'm back. ;o)
Dwight: I never smile if I can help it. Showing one's teeth is a submission signal in primates. When someone smiles at me, all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life.
These are from Cicely at Life Design Events, emailed in because her computer won't pull up my comment box. :( Is anyone else having this problem? If so email me at info [at] blueorchidweddings [dot] com. Thanks!
Anyway, her hilarious quotes:
“I would like a magazine please” – Kevin Malone
“We just need urine” - Nurse
“I would still like one” - Kevin Malone
and
“Bro’s before Ho’s! Why? Because your Bro’s are always there for you. They got back after your Ho rips your heart at for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your Ho. And you told her that she was the only Ho for you and that she was better than all the other Ho’s in the world. And then………..then suddenly she’s not your Ho no Mo” (sob sob). - Michael Scott
"Hi, I'm Michael Scott. I'm in charge of Dunder-Mifflin paper products. But I'm also the founder of Diversity Tomorrow... because today is almost over." - Michael Scott
or-
"Chucky Cheese? Ugh- Im sick of Chucky Cheese!" - Michael Scott
or
"Two queens on Casino Night. Yea. I am going to drop a deuce on everybody. -Michael Scott
My favorite character is Pam. I think I just have a special bond with her.
My favorite quote(s) are:
1) (it's more of a dialogue) Jim "Question, which bear is best"
Dwight "well there are two schools of thought on this"
Jim "False, black bear"
Dwight "What...no..."
Jim "bears, beats, battlestar Galactica"
2) Dwight to Angela "Angela, you look like the queen of England today"
I love this post :)
Darryl on the woman's suit Michael was wearing.
"He looks like Hillary Clinton"
That video is fantastic -- thanks, my Monday needed that ;o)
Found your site through Becker's site and just had to contribute when I saw this post dedicated to The Office, one of my absolute favorite shows. I'm not sure I can decide who my favorite character or quote is but I thought the following from Season 3.3 - The Coup might give you a laugh. What brilliant writing!
Michael Scott: Business is like a jungle. And I am like a tiger. And Dwight is like a monkey that stabs the tiger in the back with a stick. Does the tiger fire the monkey? Does the tiger transfer the monkey to another branch? Pun. There is no way of knowing what goes on inside the tiger's head. We don't have the technology.
(ok, and two more. sorry you said 3 and I could help it!)
Kelly: Oh my God. I have so much to tell you!
Jim Halpert: Really?
Kelly: Yes! Tom Cruise and Kakie Holmes, they had a baby and they named it Suri and then Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, they had a baby too and they named it Shylo and both babies are amazing!
Jim Halpert: Great. What's new with you?
Kelly: I just told you.
------
"Close your eyes. Picture a convict. What's he wearing? Nothing special. Baseball cap on backward, baggy pants. He says something ordinary like, 'yo that's shizzle'. Okay, now slowly open your eyes again. Who you picturing? A black man? Wrong. That was a white woman. Surprised? Well shame on you." -Michael Scott
HA! This is the best contest ever. It's my favorite show too! I think I really connect with Pam, only because I used to have that job.
Here's just two of my favorites:
Dwight Schrute: I don't have a lot experience with vampires, but I have hunter warewolves. I shot one once. But by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor's dog.
Michael Scott: You hear stories about Dunder Mifflin in the 80's, before everybody knew how bad cocaine was. Gyah... man, did they move paper!
Oh my gosh! Best contest EVER! But did you know that NBC is only offering the free downloads to PC users???
Here are my faves:
Jim: "I miss Dwight. Congratulations Universe, you win."
Jim: "Lord, beer me strength."
Dwight: "I'm faster than 80% of snakes in the world."
Please let me know if you by chance decide to make this the 20 to 100 best quotes on the office. I think there are at least 2 or 3 gems per episode!
Ok, Kelly now you have me freaking out. For PC users? Are you sure? I only ask because the other NBC shows can play on my mac. We are talking serious travesty here if I am still unable to watch them!
Yay Office contest! Found this purely by chance because I like your design blog. It took a while to narrow it down to five, but here goes:
1.
Angela: I'm not gaining anything from this seminar. I'm a professional woman, the head of accounting. I'm in the healthiest relationship of my life. I just think it's insulting that Jan thinks we need this. And apparently, judging from her outfit, Jan aspires to be a whore.
2.
Dwight Schrute: Who wrote this 'hilarious' one, anal fissures?
Kevin: That's a real thing.
Dwight Schrute: Yeah, well no one here has it.
Kevin: [timidly looks around] Someone has it.
3.
Michael Scott: Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate, so he's really not a part of our family. Also, he's divorced, so he's really not a part of his family.
4.
Dwight Schrute: Once I am officially regional manager, my first order of business will be to demote Jim Halpert. So I will need a new number two. My ideal choice: Jack Bauer. But he is unavailable, fictional, and overqualified.
5.
[license plate says 'WLHUNG']
Ryan Howard: Are you a big William Hung fan?
Todd Packer: Why does everybody ask me that? Who the hell is that!?
So excited about the season premiere tomorrow!
Cheers!
Oops, sorry, I misread that it was a limit of 5 quotes, not 3! In that case you can just ignore the last two :)
1. Jim: Well we're all getting excited to see this fight. The Albany Branch is working right through lunch to prevent downsizing, but Michael, he decided to extend our lunch by an hour so that we all could go down to the dojo and watch him fight Dwight.
2. Dwight:I think one of the greatest things about modern America is the computerization of medical records. As a volunteer sheriff, I can look up anyone's psychiatric records or surgical histories. Yeast infections... there are a huge number of yeast infections in this county. Probably because we’re downriver... from that old bread factory.
3. Michael Scott: Wikipedia. Is the best thing ever. Anyone, in the world, can write anything they want about any subject. So you know you are getting the best possible information.
1)
Edward R. Meow: So, tell me, what do you wanna be when you grow up?
Young Michael Scott: I wanna be married and have 100 kids so I can have 100 friends, and no one can say no to being my friend.
Edward R. Meow: [Long pause] Uh... oh, ok. Well, nice talking with you, Michael. Back to you, Miss Trudy!
Melissa Hudson: [after Michael turns off the clip] Did you get married?
Michael Scott: Uh, no...
Abby: Why not?
Michael Scott: Uh, it just never happened.
Sasha: So, do you have any kids?
Michael Scott: Uh, nope.
Jake Palmer: Do you have a girlfriend?
Michael Scott: I do ok.
Melissa Hudson: Was Chet Montgomery cool back then?
Jake Palmer: Even I have a girlfriend.
Michael Scott: Ok. Alright, ok.
Sasha: So you didn't get to be who you wanted to be.
Michael Scott: [pause] I guess not...
2) Michael Scott: A lot of the people here don't get trophies very often, like Meridith or Kevin. I mean who's gonna give Kevin an award, Dunkin' Donuts?
3)Phyllis: [at the Christmas party] Hi, guys. Does everyone know my boyfriend, Bob Vance?
Kevin: [introducing himself to Bob] Kevin Malone.
Bob Vance: Bob Vance. Vance Refrigeration.
Stanley: Stanley Hudson.
Bob Vance: Bob Vance. Vance Refrigeration.
Ryan Howard: Ryan Howard.
Bob Vance: Bob Vance. Vance Refrigeration.
Ryan Howard: What line of work are you in, Bob?
"I wouldn't say I'm superstitous, but I am a little stitous." -Michael
Michael Scott- "I guess the atmosphere that I've tried to create here is that I'm a friend first and a boss second, and probably an entertainer third."
Michael- "This is Pam. She will do you. She's already dated 2 guys in the office, that we know of. (Pam walks away). No, but seriously, I would never say this to her face, but she is a wonderful person and a gifted artist."
Michael- "Would I rather be feared or loved? Um... Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me."
Kelly- "Omigod, Daryll. You look like Barack Obama. Everybody, I'm dating Barack Obama."
Those ones all made me crack up, hope they do the same for you... awesome contest!
"Pam, and Jim, are totally hooking up. All they do is smile." -Kevin
Dwight Schrute: In the wild, there is no health care. In the wild, health care is, "Ow, I hurt my leg. I can't run. A lion eats me and I'm dead."
Well, I'm not dead. I'm the lion, you're dead.
Michael Scott: Jim, you're six eleven and you weigh ninety pounds, Gumby has a better body than you. Boom roasted. Dwight, you're a kiss-ass. Boom roasted. Pam, you failed art school, boom roasted. Meredith, you've slept with so many guys you're starting to look like one. Boom roasted. Kevin, I can't decide between a fat joke or a dumb joke boom roasted. Creed your teeth called your breath stinks. Boom roasted. Angela, where's Angela. Whoa there you are I didn't see you behind that grain of rice! Boom. Roasted! Stanley! You crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks. Boom roasted. [Stanley starts laughing] Oscar you are [distracted by Stanley] Oscar, you're gay! Andy Cornell called, they think you suck! And you're gayer than Oscar. Boom roasted! [Stanley laughs hysterically]
Michael Scott: Alright. Alright everybody. You know I kid. You know I kid. You guys are the reason that I went into the paper business. So, uh, good-night, God bless, God bless America, and get home safe.
Andy: [playing the guitar and singing] What I hate about you! You really suck as a boss. You're the lousiest, jerkiest and you're dumber than apple sauce. We're stuck listening to you all day, Stanley tried to day just to get away. Well it's true! That's what I hate about you! That's what I hate about you!
Michael Scott: David, here it is. My philisophy is basically this. And this is something that I live by. And I always have and I always will. Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone...for any reason ever no matter what. No matter where or who or who you were with or where you are going or...where you've been. Ever. For any reason whatsoever.
What about some Creed Action? "I love to steal things...I stopped caring a long time ago."