I'm always a little surprised when I hear brides or other wedding planners mention that the grooms aren't too involved in the wedding planning. The grooms I work with are usually pretty hands on in the planning and want their voice heard - after all they've put a lot of thought into this day as well. Maybe it's just the type of clients Blue Orchid Designs attracts, but I really thought that the notion of this being just "the bride's day" was (finally!) going by the wayside.
What do you think? Is your fiance involved in the planning process? Or is he letting you make most of the decisions? Vote below - I'm so curious!
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he's an audio engineer, and i'm a photographer, so we're both creative (and consider ourselves artists), but in very different ways.
the wedding planning process really shone a light on those differences: I did the flowers and decor, he chose the band. I grilled countless photographers before settling on one, he tested and retested the sound system.
I drew the multi-imaged invitations by hand and he put them together in the computer.
We both kind of fell apart when dealing with the nitty-gritty of contracts, and got outside help for that.
I came home one day with a recommendation for a photographer and a cake baker and had found out that a friend had volunteered to play the guitar during our cocktail hour. I told him the news and he looked at me and said "Don't plan this whole thing without me!!!!" I am doing the majority (but certainly not all) of the research because my time is more flexible than his. Sometimes he's less than thrilled with my nagging reminders of the things HE'S supposed to do. But all in all this really is OUR day. I am a fan of weddings trending AWAY from being all about the bride. :)
I'd point out that this blog post actually plays into the stereotype by assuming the bride is your reader: I'm the groom, and I seriously doubt my fiancée is reading your blog! I'd be left out and offended if serious planning happened without me. We're planning our wedding collaboratively, as entirely equal partners. We each take the lead on making certain arrangements as a matter of practical necessity, but we wouldn't make any decisions or plans without consulting each other. This is *our* wedding, and it wouldn't be if one of us did everything.
I don't think letting the bride make all the decisions and the arrangements is a terribly good way to start off a marriage! A spirit of compromise and collaboration seems a lot healthier. Besides, we have a lot of fun tossing around ideas and working on things together! It's sad to think that couples where the bride takes charge and the groom is just along for the ride miss out on such a good time.
He just REALLY doesn't care about colors and flowers and such. He is a graphic designer however, so he's helped a lot with the paper products and such. =)
Hi Paul,
Because this blog is an integral part of our business model, we've actually done extensive "behind the blog scenes" market research and demographic analysis - probably quite a bit more research than other people who blog conduct. As a result of this, we know that less than 2% of our blog readers are male, and most of those are vendors.
I LOVE the fact that we do have male readers and that some grooms read as well, but I did make a decision based on our demographic study results to specifically write towards women. It's not meant to leave you out or play up a stereotype, it's simply a matter of focusing on the specific niche that this blog attracts.
Hi Liene,
Oh, I completely realize that most of your readers are female. I don't question your knowledge of your market at all. It was just meant to be a good-natured nudge, given the subject of your post, rather than any criticism or affront. :)
I like that you have included a poll in your blog, this is an excellent way to find out what the statistics may be regarding how much a fiance does participate in wedding planning. I am proud to say my (now wonderful husband of 9 years)took part in half of our planning. He was amazing!