Today's guest blogger is Mary Driscoll King, the studio manager for My Wedding Film and Darby Elizabeth Photography.  Earlier this year, Mary and her husband celebrated their second wedding anniversary and welcomed their first child in the same month.  Today, Mary shares a little about the importance of learning solid communication skills so that you can better navigate the changes your marriage will go through over the years and different seasons in life.

Last week there was a post that began with the phrase, "A good wedding planner will put out fires.  A great wedding planner will do everything in their power to prevent them."  In keeping with the preventative theme, a great idea is to seek PRE-marital counseling.

Hopefully you do not have too many fires started right now, but trust me, there will be arson in your future.  You are almost certainly thinking, "Here we go again, another married woman standing on her soap box and preaching about the importance of counseling."  The only reason that my husband and I even took the classes was because we were forced to in order to get married in the Catholic church (fine - they cannot force you to do anything, but they are pretty darn persistent!).  I thought, "my husband and I have known each other for eight years, we have good communication skills, and this is going to be a waste of my precious wedding planning time".  It turns out I was wrong and this is something that has taken me two and a half years and a beautiful baby later to finally acknowledge and appreciate. 

According to an article from the WebMD News Archive, "The research reviewed 23 studies on the effectiveness of premarital counseling and found that the average couple who participates in a premarital counseling and education program reports a 30% stronger marriage than other couples."  Put the odds in your favor and seek counseling.

No matter how strong your relationship, communication and problem solving can almost always be improved.  The counseling - or 'relationship guidance' as I like to think of it - will ask you to address topics that you have probably mulled over for years and come to agreement on already.  It will also bring up others that are rarely addressed because they appear accusational when spoken of (i.e. "You are such an introvert and never want to talk when we have an argument", or "you are so lazy and I never get any help around the house".)  It is important to attend to these concerns in an environment that is non-threatening and non-confrontational. Addressing these issues in a rational guidance setting instead of in the heat of an argument is ultimately much more beneficial. 

If you're planning on tying the knot any time soon, or if you're already married but want to strengthen your communication skills, a company called Engaging Discussions has workshops called The Marriage Experience around the country and you can click here to find a date and location near you.  Your officiant should also be able to refer a quality pre-marital counseling class in your area.

Speaking from experience and having a baby five years earlier than we expected, you want the most stable and communication-friendly environment possible when that little bundle of headache joy arrives!

Click here to read more from Mary and other guest bloggers.